THE
FRANCE/FRENCH
BLOOPER!
Originally aired December 23, 1980
Transcript courtesy of James Fabiano
BACKGROUND: This was a Tom Kennedy hosted episode of Password Plus with Betty White and Dick Martin as guest stars. Actually, it was a pretty wacky episode before the incident this script covers. Kathy just won the game by guessing the puzzle "MIRAGE" after one password, "Oasis." However, the win was disputed because Betty used a two-word clue (water hole). Nonetheless, because they went to the conclusion, Kathy was allowed to play Alphabetics and her opponent was promised a return appearance on the show. Kathy won the $5,000, and afterwards, well, let's let Tom explain.....
TOM KENNEDY:
Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to share something with you if we may.
Normally on this show when a mistake is made, we usually edit it out and put the
two pieces together, and you see the show in its entirety without knowing
anything ever happened, and Gene Wood says at the end of the show that
such-and-such happened, and it was edited for your edification. We had a
situation arise on this show that, if Allen Ludden were here, he would have
handled quite efficiently and cleverly (Betty White laughs off camera) and
adroitly. But I gave it the Kennedy treatment (more laughing off camera) along
with an assist by my friend Dick Martin, we thought maybe you would like to see
what happened (switch to shot of Dick Martin).
(Kathy's new challenger Sherry has been introduced. She's teaming with Betty
against Kathy and Dick.)
TOM: Here we
go with Betty White, Dick Martin, and you folks at home. (The password is
"French") This is a $100 puzzle, Betty, what do you want to do?
BETTY WHITE (looking at word): I'll play. (In French accent) Languaaaaaaaaage!
SHERRY (thinks it over. "Time up" buzzer sounds as she answers) Italian?
(Betty throws word packet in the air)
TOM: No. (Everyone laughs) Dick?
BETTY: There goes the part I was going for!
DICK MARTIN: France.....
KATHY: French.
("Correct answer" bell rings)
TOM: All right, yes!
("Illegal clue" alarm goes off three times)
DICK: Hold on.....
TOM: Just a
second. (Talking to judge off stage) Yes, that was an illegal clue, Mr. Martin.
DICK: "France" is an illegal clue?
TOM: For "French" it is!
DICK: Portugal!
(Tom laughs)
DICK: Vietnam?
TOM: I'm sorry, that was an illegal clue, so we cannot grant that to this side,
as a matter of fact, we throw....
DICK: Wait! Ulysses S!
TOM: Uh....and
we have another puzzle? Cut! What did I do? (Laughs) And she gets a guess at it?
BETTY: Don't worry, Allen, everything's fine! (Tom loses it while Betty gives
the "OK" hand gesture. Everyone laughs and applauds)
TOM: Don't worry about a thing buddy! (Makes the "OK" sign)
DICK (Off camera, Laughing): I love it!
TOM (in high
pitched voice): "She gets a guess?" Suppose she doesn't get it, then what do I
do? (Does wavy thumbs gestures, Betty is on camera laughing)
DICK: Then Allen comes back! (Betty nods)
TOM: Then you go to the audience, right? OK, here we go. Heyyyyyyyyy, Dick?
(Laughs)
DICK: You're not going to tell me my answer was inadmissable?
TOM: I'm
sorry, but I have to tell you your answer, not your answer, your clue was
inadmissable. You cannot give Fra.....Frence.....Hello there! (Everyone laughs)
Keep it rolling, guys, we're getting hot now! Hey! Dick!
DICK: Yes?
TOM: I'm sorry, you cannot use "France" for "French." You can't do that! Not on
this show!
DICK: Oh?
TOM: No, no.....
DICK: Then why don't we go to another show?
(Tom runs all
the way across the set, stage left, everyone's laughing. Tom then comes back to
try it again)
TOM: All right, here we go. Ahhhhhhhhh......Oh, hold it, wait a minute, Dick?
(Tom laughs) You can....you cannot give.....
DICK: I've known you all these years, that's the first time you told me to hold
it!
(Tom loses it,
takes off glasses. Dick and Betty are also losing it. Tom tries to regain his
composure again)
TOM: Oh, wait a minute......OK, hold it, I hate to interrupt, Kathy, but you do
not get credit for that because Dick gave an illegal clue. You cannot give
"France" for "French." So credit for that goes over to Sherry, Sherry and Betty
that is, and here comes another $100 puzzle.
BETTY: And a guess! (Everyone laughs)
TOM: I give
up (Goes over to wall and makes like he's going to punch it. Tom comes back, and
everyone is losing it)
DICK: Oh, that's funny!
TOM (Seriously
losing it, wiping his eyes profusely. Betty does the same): I've got a great
idea! (Tosses handkerchief to Dick) Here, you wanna use that? Here we go. (Takes
back handkerchief and puts it away) Boy, Allen has no idea what trouble he's in.
All right, hey, listen Dick? You cannot - - I'm sorry, that was an illegal clue
- - you cannot give the word "French".....France.....(laughs, loosens cuff)
That's what it does for you. Kathy, I'm sorry.....(Tom loses it again, Dick
pounds table, Tom walks off laughing hysterically and comes back and removes his
glasses again) All right! Hold it, here we go. Kathy, I am sorry, we cannot give
you credit for that because Dick, you gave an illegal clue. You cannot say
"France" for "French." And so that means credit for that password goes over to
Sherry, and Sherry, it's up on the board, "French." Now, what do you think that
puzzle is?
SHERRY: Hollandaise?
TOM: Is it Hollandaise? ("Incorrect" buzzer sounds) Oh!
DICK: Try France! (Laughs)